Let’s kick things off with a difficult and heavy truth: all good things in this world must come to an end. Summer break. Fortnite winning streaks. A nice meal with a friend or loved one. Eventually, all things give way to the inevitable churning of the gears of time, and fantasy football is no different. No matter how many entertaining moments of wonder and ferocious competition the 2022-2023 Pigskin Premier League season provided, it too must fade warmly into our memories like a fond childhood Christmas. However, here at the Platooner, we choose to dwell not on what has been, but on the exciting promise of what is to be, and for that reason it is time to turn our attention to what many have claimed will be a truly groundbreaking campaign for our beloved league. 

For years on end the fantasy football draft has served as the inception of the season, the first milestone on a perilous quest for fantasy football glory. Yet for the first time in league history, the 2023-2024 Pigskin Premier League season actually started several months prior to this year’s Selection Saturday. In early 2023, the PPL executive team convened and proposed that rather than allowing ESPN to randomly assign league managers their drafting position, league members should compete in a March Madness bracket tournament to determine the drafting order by allowing each manager to choose their draft position in the order they finish in the standings. After the proposal’s swift adoption by the league, the competition began, with massive implications for the upcoming fantasy season. 

After hard fought battles, breathtaking matchups, and a dash of Cinderella magic, the NCAA tournament concluded with the UCONN Huskies cutting down the nets. More importantly however, heavily villainized league commissioner Jake Sawyer defeated all challengers to claim the right to choose his draft position in the 2023-2024 PPL Draft. After Sawyer made his selection, all other managers had the opportunity to follow suit, leading to a truly interesting draft order that should prove to produce one of the most contentious and surprising drafts in recent memory. Now without further ado, let the analysis begin!



1st Pick

Held By: Jake Sawyer

Projected Pick: Justin Jefferson

2nd Pick

Held By: Kenny Turner

Projected Pick: Austin Ekeler

The second pick in the 2023-2024 Pigskin Premier League draft is held by none other than Dallas blonde Kenny Turner, who placed third in the March Madness tournament showdown. After securing a third place finish in each of his first two PPL seasons, Turner is rapidly establishing himself as a perennial title contender, even among the deep and talented collection of managers the league has to offer.

When questioned by Platooner sources about his decision to take the second overall pick, Turner stated that, “I chose the second pick because I truly believe that there are 2 players that are the cream of the crop this fantasy football season.” 

While Turner did not go so far as to name the two players he was referring to, his comments that followed, while cryptic, do seem to shed some light on the matter. “Nothing is set as we are still a long way from the draft and a lot can happen.” Turner said. “Let’s just say value at the running back position is hard to find later in the draft.” 

Based on Turner’s statements and track record, the Platooner is projecting with confidence that the third year manager will be using the second overall pick to reunite with Los Angeles Chargers running back Austin Ekeler. Ekeler served as a bell cow for Turner in 2022-2023, and put together a truly dominant season en route to finishing as the top running back in fantasy football. Given that offseason concerns about a possible trade out of Los Angeles have been put to bed, Ekeler once again profiles as a rock solid RB1 with tremendous upside.

3rd Pick

Held By: Matt Stone

Projected Pick: Jamarr Chase

After finishing fourth in the March Madness tournament challenge, last season’s runner up Matt Stone selected the third overall pick in the 2023-2024 Pigskin Premier League draft. While Stone’s loss in last season’s final devastated numerous fans around the league seeking “Justice for Matt”, it seems that Stone himself has quickly brushed off the disappointment and refocused his efforts on constructing another championship level roster this season. 

In discussing his strategy behind selecting the number three overall pick, Stone stated, “I picked the third pick because I believe my number one target wouldn’t be around at my next preference in available selection. I’ve got a strategy that needs executing, and by George, I’m going to be the executor.” 

Known for his strong leadership skills as a manager, Stone made it clear he is looking for similar traits in his first round draft choice, commenting, “I’m looking for a stalwart for my team, someone worthy of the leading role in my locker room. Someone with a long history of success, even if he hasn’t been recognized in the award department. A guy who’s newer to the league but sure to be hot, hot, hot!” 

Platooner sources are reporting that Stone’s comments may be in reference to third year Bengals wide receiver Jamarr Chase, a high ceiling prospect who possesses the skill to lead any club to the fantasy football promised land. One of the most explosive players in the league over the past two seasons, the 23 year old Chase is expected by many to compete with fellow LSU Tiger Justin Jefferson to lead the wide receiver position in fantasy points this season.

4th Pick

Held By: Mack Magner

Projected Pick: Christian McCaffrey

The second manager to select their draft pick for the 2023-2024 season, Mack Magner raised some eyebrows around the league by choosing the fourth overall pick in what will be his inaugural Pigskin Premier League season. The Austin based newcomer seemed cool, calm, and collected in his initial comments to the Platooner, expressing his excitement about joining the league while putting its more experienced managers on notice.

“Looking forward to playing with people who take fantasy seriously. Who don’t throw in the towel after 2 weeks. Who commit. The other managers should know I watch a LOT of football and I know a LOT about football which typically bodes well for me as a fantasy manager. Look out. Is it too early to be talking ROTY? Don’t think so.” Magner stated.

Sure Magner’s bold comments may leave some wondering whether he’s all talk, but his remarks on his draft strategy strongly suggest that he may be able to back up the hype. For example, when asked why he selected the number four overall pick, Magner remarked, “Top 4 picks this year are all ELITE and great talents any team would be lucky to have. Knowing that, picking earlier in round 2 could be what separates the men from the boys and get me some key round 2 targets.” 

In terms of Magner’s plans for the fourth overall selection, Platooner sources project that the rookie manager will select San Francisco running back Christian McCaffrey. McCaffrey blossomed in the Bay Area last season, racking up an impressive 746 rushing yards and 52 catches to go along with 10 scores in just 11 contests with the 49ers. An accomplished dual threat back, the path to high end fantasy success for McCaffrey is hard to miss, though his ability to play a full 17 weeks remains an important concern. 

5th Pick

Held By: Sam Dunegan

Projected Pick: Bijan Robinson

The fifth pick in the 2023-2024 Pigskin Premier League draft belongs to Sam Dunegan, a former league champion still hungry to prove his managerial chops to the world. After hoisting the league trophy two seasons ago, Dunegan’s club unceremoniously fell from grace last season due to what many would characterize as a combination of bad luck and mismanagement of draft capital. Perhaps the sun will shine on The Special One once again this season as he approaches the upcoming campaign with a newfound sense of purpose.

While his draft tactics have come into question over the past few seasons, the eccentric Dunegan appears to have a very clear picture of his draft strategy for this season, stating, “One key reason (I chose the fifth pick) is that the fifth pick allows me to choose from whatever wonderful player the top 4 skip over. Praying and preying on their downfall.” 

However, Dunegan followed these comments by giving fans reason to think he may not be too far removed from his past drafting habits after all as he told Platooner sources, “No comments at my target but I will always look to take top talent in shallow position groups. Whether that be QB or kicker, I’ll take top talent regardless.”

The Platooner believes that the top talent Dunegan will be adding to his team in the first round of this year’s draft is none other than Atlanta Falcons rookie running back Bijan Robinson. While Robinson has yet to take the field as a pro, the 2022 Doak Walker award winner’s collegiate tape and track record are unimpeachably excellent. The former Longhorn has massive year one upside and should immediately serve as the focal point of Atlanta’s offense. A talent of Robinson’s caliber feels like the type of calculated risk a manager such as Dunegan would take.

6th Pick

Held By: Keaton Adcock

Projected Pick: Cooper Kupp

Selecting sixth in the 2023-2024 Pigskin Premier League draft is PlatoonerBets intern Keaton Adcock. Making his PPL managerial debut last season, Adcock quickly found out just how difficult it can be to win in such a competitive league and failed to qualify for postseason play. Nevertheless, the positive energy surrounding Adcock’s side heading into 2023-2024 is palpable, and a huge sophomore leap forward is not at all out of the question. 

When asked about his rationale for selecting the sixth overall pick, Adcock was kind enough to give Platooner sources a peek into his characteristically quirky thought process. “If we are being honest here, I started off yesterday wanting the 12th pick. Of course, my boss (PlatoonerBets chairman Coby Evers) got it over me as usual. I set to Google to find a relatable, yet amusing, link to the number five. I searched biblical meanings, historical accounts, and even songs. Nothing to my liking. Then I think of the number six, like my armored and insulated six pack and I think dang that’s hot!” Adcock remarked.

Adcock elected to announce his choice of the sixth overall pick via a picture of Charizard, whose corresponding Pokedex number is also 6. Says Adcock, “I’ll ride Charizard into battle and fire blast the opposition into Ash. We’re excited for this new season to start to show the league we’re warmed up, heated up, and about to be on fire this year.”

While Adcock declined to comment on the player he views as his metaphorical Charizard, Platooner sources are officially projecting the second year manager to select Los Angeles Rams wide receiver Cooper Kupp with his first round draft pick. Just a season removed from one of the all time great fantasy football campaigns in history, Kupp missed the final eight games of the season last year after an ankle injury sidelined the star pass catcher. Yet with a full offseason to rehab and recover, Kupp should quickly regain his dominant form and generate his customary awe-inspiring numbers for the manager fortunate enough to take him.

7th Pick

Held By: Tosa Nehikhuere

Projected Pick: Travis Kelce

Smack dab in the middle of the first round at pick number seven this season is reigning league champion Tosa Nehikhuere whose head will be significantly heavier this season from the crown he wears. After an exceptional run through the PPL postseason last year, Nehikhuere was quick to assure Platooner sources that there will be no championship hangover this season, and that he expects his squad to compete each week as if rent is due. 

“As a coach I’ve gotta find new motivation for my guys if we wanna go back to back. I’ve been reviewing The Last Dance recently to channel my inner Phil Jackson zen master, so hopefully we will see the fruits of that this season. A paraphrase of the poet Aubrey Drake Graham might give you some insight as to my mindset: PPL don’t pay me to do it, they pay me to show you I’ll do it again.” Nehikhuere quipped. 

As far Nehikhuere’s thoughts on the seventh pick, his detailed thought process and keen analysis prove why he has found so much success in the league in recent seasons. “Ya know, 7 is a biblically significant number representing completion. God rested on the 7th day after creating the heavens and earth. The walls of Jericho fell on the 7th day after the Israelites marched around them 7 times. With the 7th pick, I’m going to be channeling that this season is gonna be a wrap before it even begins. It is finished. FANETO.” he stated. 

Though Nehikhuere did not give many specifics as to who he might be selecting with the 7th overall pick, he did go on record as saying that, “It may be someone unconventional, but I’ve never been one to go against the grain if the numbers support it.” As far as unconventional goes, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce is about as unconventional as it gets from a fantasy football perspective. The only tight end with a first round fantasy grade this season, Kelce ran circles around all other players at the position in 2022-2023, nearly doubling the second best tight end’s point totals on the season. After Nehikhuere gambled on Kelce early in the draft last season, the latter proved absolutely essential to the former’s championship run, and we believe a homecoming here makes all the sense in the world.

8th Pick

Held By: Stephen Clines

Projected Pick: Tyreek Hill

A tenth place finish in the March Madness challenge led to the eighth overall pick for lanky veteran manager Stephen Clines. Following an up and down season in which Clines clinched a playoff spot despite being among the lowest points for scorers in the league, it remains to be seen if Clines can count on the same good fortune in 2023-2024. However, only a fool would count him out, as he continues to produce signature victories season after season. 

A man of few words, Clines remarked that, “I chose the first pick available, I was about to not have service for a couple hours so I didn’t think too much about it”, when asked why he decided to select the eighth overall pick in the draft. 

When asked more directly about the player he plans to select with the eighth overall pick, Clines playfully deflected the question by responding with, “Will Anderson, I’m excited for the Texans to be fantasy relevant.” 

However, Platooner sources are paid the big bucks to read between the lines, and in doing so they are able to project that Clines will spend the eighth pick on Miami Dolphins speedster Tyreek Hill. After a surprising offseason move from Kansas City to Miami last year, many questioned whether Hill’s explosive brand of fantasy football would translate to a Tua Tagovailoa lead offense. Those who bought in however were rewarded greatly, as the “Cheetah” raced his way past opposing defenders to the tune of career highs in receptions and receiving yards and a second place finish at the position. If Hill can replicate this success in year 2 with Tua, he is sure to please any manager lucky enough to acquire his services. 

9th Pick

Held By: Mitchell Cantway

Projected Pick: Derrick Henry

Thanks to an administrative error on the club’s end, Houston based tycoon Mitch Cantway was assigned the ninth pick in the PPL first round, despite an otherwise respectable finish in the tournament challenge. When asked about why he failed to get his paperwork in on time and secure a more ideal pick, Cantway responded, “On the record, I was “playing pickleball with some friends”.” 

However, Platooner sources are reporting that Cantway’s local pickleball courts were empty at the time of the organizational malfeasance, and Cantway was instead embroiled in a “steamy game of Transylvanian Tongue Twister” with the head of PPL Merchandise, Matt Stone. In response, Cantway attempted to discredit the rumors, stating, “Any obscure sources claiming I was embroiled in a steamy game of Transylvanian Tongue Twister with a certain Head of PPL Merch” are at best mistaken, and at worst slanderous. Representatives for Matt Stone declined to comment on the allegations.

Whatever the cause of Cantway’s carelessness, he will need to make the most of his first round selection in order to maximize his chances of earning a playoff spot for the fourth time in franchise history. When asked what player he believes could potentially fill such an important role, Cantway commented that “As a high character organization, I won’t give away my strategies, but I can tell you his name might rhyme with Bombass Fadie.” 

We’ll state the obvious here, Derrick Henry does not in fact rhyme with Bombass Fadie. But what the bruising Tennessee Titans running back does offer is a long history of stability and fantasy success at the position. With rookie quarterback Will Levis in the fold and likely to see the field in 2023-2024, Henry’s share of touches in the Titans offense is sure to remain sky high, and there is nothing whatsoever on tape to indicate that the former Alabama standout has lost a step in any way heading into this season. Henry would serve as a strong anchor for Cantway’s backfield and potentially bring some peace to the organizational chaos running rampant throughout the team.

10th Pick

Held By: Hunter Tormey

Projected Pick: Jonathan Taylor

The number ten pick in the 2023-2024 PPL fantasy draft belongs to veteran gaffer Hunter Tormey, whose misplaced faith in the Marquette Golden Eagles led to a shocking last place finish in the March Madness challenge. However, due to the managerial incompetence of rival manager Mitchell Cantway missing a crucial deadline, Tormey was allowed to select his draft choice just before the Sri Lankan international. 

Following a disappointing 2022-2023 campaign that got off to a 1-5 start, Tormey rallied his club to four straight wins and the cusp of a playoff spot before a heartbreaking Davante Adams touchdown at the death sent his roster to Cancun early. “Last year we were just too sloppy and couldn’t get out of our own way. I suppose many people may blame me as the manager for failing to make the playoffs, but last time I checked I didn’t tell Dak Prescott to forget how to play football. And don’t even get me started on Cam Akers, that fraud decided not to tell me that he was planning to play like prime Rex Burkhead the entire season when I drafted him. But honestly, make no mistake, I am absolutely back this year and look forward to taking the league by storm once again.” Tormey said. 

In order to provide the type of comeback season he promised and get back on track as a franchise, Tormey will need a truly special contribution from his first round draft pick this season. When questioned by Platooner sources about who that player might be, Tormey seemed to give away everything and nothing at the same time. “It’s like I tell people all the time, whether it’s draft strategy or trade talk, I pride myself on being a straight shooter. So I’ll just be completely candid with you, I will be selecting Vikings wide receiver Justin Jefferson with the tenth pick in the draft.” Tormey remarked. 

Unfortunately for Tormey, it is a near certainty that “Jettas” will be long gone before his number ten pick rolls around. A much more realistic target for the Dallas based club is Indianapolis Colts running back Jonathan Taylor. Much like Tormey’s team, Taylor is coming off a disappointing 2022-2023 campaign after being the consensus top pick heading into the season. Still, Taylor is just 24 years old and has had over 7 months to recover from a minimally invasive ankle procedure and will be running behind what should be an improved offensive line. If Taylor is able to approach the monster numbers he put up in 2021, this pick could be looked back on as a steal at the end of the season. 

11th Pick

Held By: Andrew Forey

Projected Pick: Saquon Barkley

Holding the penultimate pick in the 2023-2024 PPL first round is league newcomer Andrew Forey. Like his counterpart Mack Magner, the San Antonio product is part of an exciting new wave of managers looking to make a splash at the expense of the league’s more experienced playcallers. Forey seems to be entering the league with a chip on his shoulder, and spent a good portion of his initial interview directing that chip at veteran manager Mitch Cantway. 

“Who am I most looking forward to going up against? Mitch, already seems like an easy win.” Forey scoffed. 

When it comes to draft strategies, the untested Forey may still have quite a bit to learn, though he does seem to have a clear initial plan. “Who am I targeting? Whoever Coby is targeting.” Forey said in reference to the sultan of San Angelo, Coby Evers. 

While Forey’s statements do not seem to give away much information as to who he might be targeting, one player who could be of interest to the rookie manager is New York Giants running back Saquon Barkley. After a resurgent 2022-2023 season that saw Barkely rush for over 1,300 yards and pile up nearly 60 catches, the former number two overall pick is once again firmly in the first round conversation. Much like 49ers star Christian McCaffrey, Barkley’s durability is his biggest concern as his talent and opportunity for touches in an improving offense rank among the league’s best.

12th Pick

Held By: Coby Evers

Projected Pick: Stefon Diggs

Finishing fifth in the March Madness tournament challenge but first in the hearts of many around the league, diminutive manager Coby Evers holds the rights to the final pick of the first round this season. Fresh off of a speech and debate national championship win as well as last season’s regular season championship, the San Angelo short king seems extremely confident in his chances of making more playoff noise this season. 

Evers listed a number of reasons as to why he selected the twelfth pick in this year’s draft, saying, “I love being the guy that does fun and unpredictable things but then making those things turn to gold. That’s exactly what I’m going to do with this decision. I also love having back to back picks since I’m about to be back to back champion the next two years in this league.”

While Evers seems to be keeping his thoughts on who he may select at number twelve close to the vest, he did take the time to issue a warning to the rest of the league. “All other 11 managers are on notice. They won’t be wanting to play me any week. And any of them saying they want this smoke is lying out of their ass.”

Despite the eagerness to back up his talk, the first round of the draft will be an exercise in patience for Evers, who must wait and watch as eleven high level prospects come off the board prior to his first selection. With that being said however, the Platooner is still projecting Evers’ draft to get off to a strong start with the selection of Buffalo Bills wide receiver Stefon Diggs. Following a brutal ousting from last season’s NFL playoffs at the hands of Joe Shiesty, the ninth year pro out of Maryland will likely begin the season on a warpath that will lead to gaudy fantasy production. While it remains to be seen if the fiery personalities of Evers and Diggs can co-exist, the ceiling for this pairing is sky high.



In Conclusion

As you can probably already tell, this Pigskin Premier League season has the potential to be the most entertaining and adventurous yet. From new faces around the league to cutting edge technological innovations such as a league webpage and social media initiatives, the stakes have truly never been higher. 12 teams. 1 trophy. Nothing short of destiny itself awaits.